Most people experience positive touch as nice. There is multiple evidence that positive touch based on trust and mutual consent is good for body, soul, and spirit. In addition, the oxytocin level in your system is increased by touch and genuine attention. Touch therapy and cuddle sessions can help you with:
- Relaxation and stress reduction
- Reduce depressive symptoms
- Reduce loneliness
- Healing from trauma
- Healing from grieve
- Self-image & self-acceptance
- Reduce anxiety
- Reduce chronic pain
- Learning to indicate and communicate needs and boundaries
- Learn to receive
- Learn to trust & share thoughts, emotions and feelings
- I have noticed in my practice that people with a mild form of autism can benefit from this form of support/therapy.
What happens during a session?
The sessions take place within the specially created space at Tender Touch. When you have registered for a session, there will first be a free and non-committal introduction/intake by telephone in order to get to know each other and find out how I can be of help to you. After a positive intake, the first session can be planned immediately. The session starts with a warm welcome and a cup of tea. There is room for questions and explanations about communication during the session. The session starts with a communication exercise and will be further expanded from there according to your needs. You can state what you feel comfortable with in that moment and time, and from there we will investigate together what will benefit you the most.
A touch therapy or cuddle session can take form in so many different ways! It is really your time and space to feel what really makes you happy. The session can be about what you feel is needed for you. Some people come to relax, others are here to say no and set limits in their daily lives, or have to deal with trauma, loss or depressive symptoms. Many are just lonely because of circumstances in their lives. I am here to help you feel better.
This is the basis of every session. Learning to ask for touch in a way that feels pleasant and safe for you. Learn to relax and experience platonic touch without expecting anything. Learn to set boundaries when you need it and to enjoy the relaxation, peace, and healing that a session can bring you.
There are many different ways in which you can experience touch and you can discover for yourself what works for you. We can hold hands, use eye gazing, cuddle, spoon or even dance to soft music. Some clients want more contact, others may have suffered trauma in the area of contact and want to experience the safety of no is no. Or maybe you just enjoy sitting next to each other and sharing your story or what is alive for you at that moment. There is so much possible in mutual consent. It is really your moment and you decide. Full attention, safety and being heard, form the basis of every session.
Feel free to bring your own favorite pillow, blanket or books, for example, if you would like to be read to.
Also called the cuddle hormone. This hormone is also a neurotransmitter for stimulating and transporting other bodily happiness and relaxation hormones such as serotonin and dopamine. It also helps with lowering the cortisol levels in your system. Oxytocin is produced by pleasant physical contact such as, a massage, cuddling and other forms of loving touch and attention. Oxytocin is our natural painkiller, it helps us relax our system, feel connected, experience more self-love and self-esteem, understanding the emotions of other people better and feel more compassion for ourselves and others. It is a natural booster for daring to start a "social" connection with others and yourself.
The relaxed setting during a session often invites you to talk about the events of your day or about topics you would like to talk to someone about in a safe environment. Because of my training and work experience within mental health care, I am very experienced in listening and where desired the conversation can have a more coaching role. Rest assured that during a session you are in a safe setting without judgment and where the privacy of the client is respected, see the code of conduct below.
Code of Conduct
To guarantee a safe setting, the client and coach must adhere to the following code of conduct:
- Client and coach both verify that they are at least the legal age of consent in their location.
- This is a strictly platonic service. Client and coach both agree to not pursue or encourage sexual arousal. Also: No hand to genital or breast contact. No intentional genital stimulation of any kind.
- Both client and coach will ensure mutual approval at all times and will respect each other's personal boundaries.
- Coach and client will keep communication open during each session regarding finding a comfortable setting for both. This applies to all communication before and during the sessions.
- Client confidentiality is to be respected at all times.
- Client and coach both agree to be free from any mind-altering substances during the sessions and are thereby fully able to give consent.
- Minimum clothing of tank top and shorts to mid-thigh for both client and coach at all times.
- No exchanging of saliva, or any other bodily fluid, in any way.
- Either client or coachr may end the session at any time.
- Client agrees to fully disclose any diagnoses or conditions that may affect their cuddling session to the coach.
- Client and coach both agree to respectful personal hygiene.
A standard session lasts 90 minutes and costs € 97.50
If, after your first session, you want to go deeper and discover what it is that you really need to achieve sustainable results, then a series of a consecutive number of sessions is recommended.
If, after the first session, you decide to embark on the journey towards truly being seen, healing and self-development, we can discuss which package suits you best. The packages below are based on the gravity and duration of the complaints present and your needs and wants, which we can discuss during or after your first session.
-Self-care creates self-love-
You can choose from these different packages:
In need of a little self-care
4 sessions of 90 minutes
Duration: 2 to 3 months
Costs: € 380
JYour discount: € 20
In need of much self-care
12 sessions of 90 minutes
Duration: 6 to 8 months
Costs: € 1072,50,-
Your discount € 97,50 (1 session for free)
In need of medium self-care
8 sessions of 90 minutes
Duration: 4 to 6 months
Costs: € 725,-
Your discount: € 55,-
* All packages must be paid for and scheduled in advance. Of course there is room for flexibility regarding the relocation of pre-booked sessions. If you have a completely different idea about what would work for you, feel free to seek contact to discuss the possibilities.
Tender Together & Tender Events
They are already very popular in America; the so-called Cuddle parties. In the Netherlands this movement is slowly growing. A "cuddle party" is an evening guided by an experienced cuddle coach, where you can practice communicating, setting boundaries and learning to give and receive loving platonic touch within a safe and, above all, pleasant & casual environment. After a cuddly evening or workshop you will go home relaxed and with a warm and happy feeling. During these evenings the code of conduct as indicated on this site apply. In addition, communication and respect for each other's boundaries is the most important and a lot of attention will be paid to this during these evenings.
Saturday, September 21, 2019 cuddle & connection workshop at "Anders avondje uitt" at Center Djoj.
- location: Center Djoj Rotterdam
Antony Duyklaan 5-7-9, 3051 HA Rotterdam
- Time: 8 pm to 10:30 pm
- Costs: presale € 15. Doorsale € 17.50
- Register via the registration form from Djoj.
Testimonials from Tender Touch clients
Leonie – Tilburg: Have had a nice session. From the first contact on the phone there was a click. I felt very welcome. It helped me to stand up more for myself and stand up for what I need. Love and comfort. I understand that customers from Belgium and Limburg come to TenderTouch in Rotterdam. Professional and therapeutic cuddling. Highly recommended.
Joost – Rotterdam: My intention was to receive security and I wanted to go home again replenished. Both have amply succeeded. The atmosphere was completely relaxed, and I felt very familiar and safe with Kirsten. I'm looking forward to the next session in a while. Cuddling is delicious. Kirsten is a fantastic cuddle buddy. I am happy that I chose the four-hour session.
Geoffrey – Rotterdam: Kirsten Jense is a wonderfully warm person who knows how to touch people and influence them in a positive way.
Her cuddle sessions are very unique as a service and work therapeutically with the processing of unprocessed traumas that you can still carry with you from your past (toxic conditioning). Definitely recommended as a cuddle therapist and coach!
Sebastiaan – Zoetermeer: Nice preliminary process and the information was extensive and complete. I experienced the session as very pleasant and after 24 hours I still feel relaxed and stress-free. The space was very cozy and Mimi is one of the relaxed cats ever!
Chris – Utrecht: What I really liked was that I was allowed to be "small / vulnerable" and that I dared to express that wish. I know that I easily take over the supporting role, so I asked for the roles to be reversed and to be supported. When I changed positions, I put an arm around Kirsten and she was very good at noticing that I slipped back into my old habit. We had a good laugh about that. Later it happened again, but then it was ok. to leave it like that. We had moved to an area of peace and relaxation in which my old habits were no longer present, had lost their importance. Totally relaxing. So what I have learned again is to trust the process & that it was so much easier to express my needs in this safe created space. So I could surpass my fear of judgment. It was a very powerful and beautiful experience!
Anonymous – Regio Rijnmond: The session itself was set up in a very relaxing environment, which helped me to calm down. especially due to the introductory meditation and the well-received reception. I notice that I have received a lot. I was able to sink through layers of protection in the presence of Kirsten, and then allow my batteries to recharge through the physical touch and the nurturing and highly intuitive heart-connected contact with Kirsten. I could recommend it to anyone. And now I notice the day after how well I feel and how well I slept and how "balanced" I feel inside. Kirsten knows exactly where she needs to be with her attention, and I have also been able to practice asking for what I need.
Anoniem – Rotterdam, Ervaring connectie & knuffelavond: Het was een veilige setting waarin er ruimte was voor mijn gevoelens op dat moment en dat was erg fijn! Het was gezellig en fijn dat er dekentjes waren. Het was goed verzorgd met thee en chocola 🙂
Adriaan – Rotterdam, experience connection & cuddle evening:: Good, valuable, reliable and safe. A safe meeting with new people. Learned that my limits in this area have become wider, not fears. I wanted to work on that more. Simple space, is possible, but was very informal, a living area. Could be a little more professional. But the informal space did fit the entire atmosphere of the evening.
Simone – Nieuwerkerk a/d IJssel: What I have experienced with Kirsten is that I immediately felt at ease with her. Nothing was crazy or weird and everything was welcome just as it presented itself. There was clarity about guarding boundaries which was also nice. For me, a cuddle session was the first time and definitely recommended. It was very nice and relaxed during the session and afterwards too. Being allowed to be completely present and feel seen and heard. It was a beautiful experience. What also struck me was the difference I felt, cuddling with another woman instead of a man. Felt very relaxing and safe. Clearly a different effect than with a man. A totally different energy.
L.F. – Rotterdam, experience connection & cuddle evening: I had a very nourishing, relaxing evening where I could release tensions and thereby charge energy by connecting with new people (male / female). That has given me a lot. The workshop space felt very serene, pure and pleasant in terms of energy and intention.
Anonymous - regio Rijnmond, experience connection & cuddle evening: I was very curious if I could keep my ground while cuddling with other people, I often tend to from heart to head. But because of the nice, quiet structure of the evening, the safe atmosphere that was put down and the exercises to feel and say yes / no, I was able to build it up step by step, while I could stay beautiful in my own space and feeling. A very special experience! I really enjoyed the connection with the other participants and came home fully charged! I found the atmosphere very zen.
Anonymous - regio Rijnmond, experience connection & cuddle evening: I thought it was a nice evening with plenty of time to relax and slowly make contact with others. The respect that was there for each other was very pleasant. The long cuddle sessions at the end were wonderful, but I noticed that it was sometimes difficult (for myself and the other participants) to indicate what we wanted. So often you don't hear the question, what kind of touch do you want? I found the space itself well equipped for the workshop. Spacious enough, plenty of mattresses on the floor and nice spheric lighting.