Sometimes you just need a hug. About loss & mourning.

In life we ​​unfortunately all have to deal with it, loss and mourning.  

Death and fatal and deteriorating illnesses.

The death of a loved one can come unexpectedly, after a long illness, or a short illness in which saying goodbye might still be possible. You cannot imagine the impact of the loss and the grief in advance and in many cases you will be completely beaten up about it. The feeling of loss and mourning does not only begin when a loved one has died. In the case of a terminal and deteriorating diagnosis, the rollercoaster of sadness already starts with the bad news. Also, a long-term illness in which you slowly lose a loved one, such as with Alzheimer's disease, for example, the grieving process starts earlier. He or she is still physically there, but the person you knew has disappeared. This is often a heartbreaking and intense process that involves a wide range of emotions.

Loss and mourning without death.

We often underestimate it and think that a grieving process only belongs or is appropriate when death is involved, but every situation where significant loss is experienced has its own grieving process. Think of losing a job or function, getting burned out, or experiencing another illness, as a result of which you experience loss of control and suddenly you can do much less than before. A divorce or broken romantic or other relationship. loss of contact with dear relatives, parents, children or grandchildren due to arguments, emigration or other circumstances. In these situations the feeling of loss and the subsequent grieving process is very normal and healthy, but unfortunately little is known about it or attention is paid to it.

Your mourning and the environment.

It doesn't matter for what reason grief is experienced, often your environment only has space and understanding for you for a certain period of time. Perhaps a little longer in one situation than the other, depending on your support network. But there comes a time when the people around you think that life should go on again, while you may still be in the middle of it or perhaps you have not even been able to comprehend that you have suffered such a great loss. Mourning is not something that you can plan or that you can put in a timeframe. It is an intense process of a range of emotions that come and go and with which we must learn to live. Years later, something that reminds you of that dear person, or of the other loss that you have experienced, can give rise to intense feelings of mourning that can completely knock you down at that moment. Receiving support later in life with mourning is sometimes difficult. Talking about it, recalling memories, sharing feelings or thoughts and experiencing consolidation is not always possible. Many people keep their sorrows hidden for the sake of the environment and as a result, lose important connections and support and get lost in loneliness and sorrow.

Consolitation by touch and listening.

You have recently lost someone, perhaps a little while ago, you have just gotten a divorced or have experienced another break or loss. Personal or at work. You still feel this loss or breakup in your system, even though it may have been years ago. You have received too little understanding and / or comfort from yourself or your environment. You have never been able to express your sorrow well, or you have not taken the time. You need to be seen in your grief, guilt, anger or frustration, your feelings of loneliness or powerlessness about this situation, or whatever is happening inside of you that makes you feel stuck in your grief. Being seen without judgment, but in consolement and safety is what you need.

Touch and someone that just listens can bring comfort and relief.

Positive touch is one of our first necessities as a human being, from birth to the moment we leave this earth. Certainly when we have intense moments in live in which we experience fear, loss of control or sadness, loving touch brings us emotionally and physically in balance and can help us live with loss and mourning. Just that embrace or that hand on your knee while there is time and space for you to share what goes on inside you.

Through therapeutic touch sessions and coaching, within a safe and secure setting, I help you feel a bit better and more connected again.

Oxytocin.

The production of the hormone oxytocin plays a major and vital role in this form of therapy.
Oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone, is also a neurotransmitter for stimulating and transporting other happiness and relaxation hormones such as serotonin and dopamine and lowering the cortisol level (the stress hormone). Oxytocin is created by pleasant physical contact such as, a massage, cuddling and loving touch, or attention in which you really feel heard and seen. Oxytocin is our natural physical and emotional painkiller, helping us relax our system and feel more connected to ourselves and others and to experience more compassion. This form of therapy and coaching has been developed in America and has proved very successful in the past 10 years, in areas such as trauma, loss and mourning.

introducing to you.

I'm Kirsten Jense. I am a trained therapeutic touch practitioner and deep listener and founder of TenderTouch, practice for connection coaching. I have been trained according to the working method of and affiliated with Cuddlist. A leading organization in the USA, when it comes to therapeutic touch and the transforming work that can be achieved with it. In addition, due to my work experience within mental health care, the various education and training that I have followed and my own life experience, I am well known and experienced in working with people and offering coaching and support in cognitive, emotional and body-oriented areas.

Do you recognize yourself in this story about loss and mourning and hare you interested or want more information? Then I would love to get to know you and to talk to you further about this in a free and non-obligatory intake.

Make an appointment for a free intake.

During the intake we can get acquainted, there is room for your story, you can ask questions and discuss your situation. With a positive intake we can immediately schedule your first session.

I talk to you soon!

Warm regards, Kirsten.

Testimonial from client Leonie:
Have had a nice session. From the first contact on the phone there was a click. I felt very welcome. It helped me to stand up more for myself and stand up for what I need. Love and comfort. I understand that customers from Belgium and Limburg come to TenderTouch in Rotterdam. Professional and therapeutic cuddling. Highly recommended.

Make an appointment for a free intake.

Dank je wel voor je aandacht! Warme groet, TenderTouch

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